Y Sunday, June 29, 2008Y
9:20 pm
The World's Tallest SkyscraperUpon its completion, the Burj Dubai will dwarf all other buildings in the world. Some have dubbed the architectural wonder a "cloudbuster" rather than a skyscraper in an effort to describe its height. When fully constructed, the immense structure will reach over 60 stories higher than the world's second tallest tower (Tapei 101), and it will stretch nearly a half-mile into the sky.
Climbing the Burj Dubai
For the sake of a leadership illustration, let's assume Burj Dubai's builders, as part of the grand opening celebration, chose me as a contestant to win a $1 million prize. The $1 million would be placed in a briefcase on the top floor (the 164th) of the skyscraper. To claim the prize, I would have to reach the briefcase in 30 minutes, without using the building's elevator.
Immediately, two constraints are apparent: time and ability.
With unlimited time, I'm sure I could climb all 163 staircases to reach the top of the Burj Dubai. I would need frequent rest breaks on the landings, time to saunter through halls to locate the nearest water fountain or restroom, and maybe even access to a comfy office chair to spend a night or two. Yet, however long it took me, at some point I would climb all the way to floor #164. Unfortunately, this contest only allows me 30 minutes, which brings us to my second constraint...
Ability. I'm sure there are Olympic athletes, marathon runners, and workout warriors in physical shape to race up 163 flights of stairs in 30 minutes. I, however, do not possess the speed, fitness, or insanity to risk a heart attack racing up an endless staircase.
Clearly, I could never reach the money on my own. To get it, I would have to rely on people. Maybe I could phone for a helicopter to drop me off on the roof. Perhaps I could clear a landing area, and convince someone on the top floor to drop the briefcase out the window (probably not a good idea). Whatever the case, by myself, there's no way I could get up the stairs to win the prize.
Three Leadership Truths
My hypothetical contest at the Burj Dubai points to three fundamental truths about leadership:
1. Time is limited to achieve the vision.
2. Our natural ability is likely too small to achieve the vision.
3. We cannot achieve the vision alone; we need others.
With these truths in mind, how can we improve our leadership capacity?
Moving from Doer to Developer
Early in our career path, we gravitate to the spotlight. We bust our tails in order to demonstrate our talents, position ourselves for promotion, or earn a pay raise. At this stage, it's common to approach extra assignments with a "bring it on" attitude. We welcome new tasks as a means of showcasing our responsibility and trustworthiness.
However, as we ascend the staircase of success, we bump into constraints. First, we recognize the limitations imposed on us by time. We cannot accomplish everything we desire - even by working nights and weekends. We juggle the demands of leadership to achieve as much as possible, but, at some point we can't put another ball in the air without dropping one.
Second, we reach the boundary of our natural giftedness. Our wisdom and inborn talent cannot take us everywhere we want to go. Regardless of our devotion to personal growth, in our own strength, we're powerless to fulfill the vision inside of us.
From Spotlight to Flashlight
When we trade the spotlight for a flashlight, we turn the corner in leadership. When this happens, our refrain changes from, "Look at me!" to, "Where are you?" Instead of proving ourselves, we search for proven partners.
We flip the switch from doing to developing as we shift focus from tasks to people. Rather than deluding ourselves into believing we can do it all, we recruit, equip, and motivate talented performers to link up with our vision. By reaching out, rather than digging within, we ultimately climb the highest.
9:14 pm
A well-known proverb says the following about communication:"It's not what you say, but how you say it."
The proverb is deservedly well known. Delivery has an enormous impact on our ability to connect with an audience. Authors Dan and Chip Heath have written a bestseller, Made to Stick, devoted to helping leaders land their ideas in the minds and memories of listeners. Applying tips such as simplicity, emotional appeal, and storytelling to our communication reaps huge dividends.
An extension to the communication proverb, says:
"It's not only what you say, and how you say it, but also when you say it."
True enough. Timing plays a vital role in the way we communicate. Awareness of emotions, mood, and context all factor into effective communication. Given the nature of their roles, salespeople have no choice but to understand this added dimension of communication. A sales pitch delivered at an opportune moment seals the deal, but the same appeal falls flat if inserted at the wrong time.
Even if we're not in sales, we know the value of timing from personal experience. In the emotional aftermath of failure, well-intentioned criticism feels like a punch in the mouth. However, the same criticism received after we've had a chance to cool down is readily welcomed.
Delivery impacts our communication, and so does timing, but in this edition of Leadership Wired, I'd like to take the communication proverb one step further.
"It's not just what you say, how you say it, and when you say it, but also who says it."
For a leader, communication involves more than presentations and speechmaking. It's not an event, but rather a skill. A leader's daily behavior screams to those he or she leads. Does the leader have a track record of honesty? If so, his words carry the weight of trust. Does a leader take the time to listen? If not, she will be tuned out—regardless of a silver tongue. Is a leader likeable? If so, he predisposes people to be open and receptive to communication.
In the remainder of this lesson, let's examine the communication benefits a leader wins day by day through consistency of character.
1) Honor Your Agreements - Communication Benefit: Trust
As a leader, never make promises lightly, and when you do, go the extra mile to honor your word. If your actions consistently match your words, you'll gain an incredible communication asset—trust. I guarantee that following through on your commitments will 1) Involve a high personal cost 2) Be inconvenient 3) Be worth every sacrifice.
2) Display Emotion - Communication Benefit: Authenticity
Don't be the Tin Man on the job. Have a heart. Try not to wear it on your sleeve, but allow it to infect your workdays with passion. People suspect an emotionless leader of being only partially invested in the mission. Allowing glimpses of your joys and sorrows will endow your communication with authenticity. People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.
3) Embody Values - Communication Benefit: Credibility
In the 21st century, cream-of-the-crop employees are not looking for a place to work; they're searching for a cause to join. They'll be attracted to strong values, but they'll be put off if they don't see you modeling them. Be purposeful in acting out your core values and giving them visibility. When people see you insist on values and fight for what you believe, they will find you credible. In communication, this credibility inclines your people to accept your words.
4) Be Generous with Praise - Communication Benefit: Likeability
Here's a foolproof way to measure your leadership: how do you make people feel? Being generous with praise is the best way to win others to your side. People naturally want to be appreciated, and they crave encouragement, so, by all means, don't withhold your praise from them.
Credit them when they do well. Appoint yourself as head cheerleader, chief supporter, and number one fan of your people. They'll admire you for it, and you'll gain the advantage of likeability when you communicate to them.
5) Listen - Communication Benefit: Respect
There's no quicker way to earn respect than being slow to speak. Give your people a forum to express their ideas, frustrations, and observations. Better yet, inquire of them. Solicit their input and feedback. When they speak, show you've heard them. Implement their ideas when possible, and candidly explain yourself when you cannot act upon their suggestions. Follow through, follow through, and follow through. Listening isn't passive. It requires you to take notice, take notes, and take action.
If you've proved to be a leader who listens, then your people will respect your words. If you've shown openness to them, they'll be infinitely more receptive to the messages you send and the guidance you give.
Y Thursday, June 26, 2008Y
11:22 pm
Went to ZARA sale today at VIVO! It was like a fashion wuuuunderland! Lurrrrve the stuffs there! But actually, there cater more to young working professionals. Actually wanted to buy more clothes from there but didn't. Like for example, got this shiny purple long sleeve shirt going for $59.90, wanted to buy it, but den decided not to cos i tink i will seldom wear it like my white long sleeve shirt bought frm Taiwan. Den oso got this grey green corduroy material pants for oso $59.90 if i rmb correctly, wanted to buy it also but den the length is abit long, lazy come back after the sales to alter it cos nw during sales period no alterations. But the most funny part was going to Pull and Bear. Liked the mannequin cap, but can't find it elsewhere in the shop. The salesman say the one mannequin wearing is the last piece, den i just take it off, den i went to try it, really like it. But then when i saw the mannequin, i abit ashame of myself and oso hilarious of the mannequin, cos the mannequin so "ke lian", i make him look "botak"! hehe! =) After that proceeded to the counter to pay the cap! =) Overall, i must say i am proud of the stuffs i bought, cos it was on sale and really quite nice! =)
Y Sunday, June 15, 2008Y
7:04 pm
The following practical tips are intended to flesh out the ways we can begin to embrace and wisely employ criticism as leaders.WHEN GIVING CRITICISM
Encouragement helps criticism to land.
Before a pilot lands an aircraft, she goes through a series of procedures to make the plane touch down as smoothly as possible. The pilot gently drops altitude, gradually cuts back on speed, and lowers landing gear at just the right moment. If these steps are handled incorrectly, the ride is certain to be turbulent and may end up in disaster.
For criticism to "land" well, it must be preceded by encouragement. Leaders deafen their people to criticism when they neglect to encourage them regularly. If leaders are silent after victory but outspoken during defeat, then team morale plummets. It's difficult to stay open to suggestions for improvement under what feels like a constant barrage of negativity.
Criticism should avoid being personal
Criticism should avoid being personal, but it should have the support of a personal relationship. To prevent personal insult, leaders should carefully pinpoint specific actions or ideas to criticize. People can accept negative feedback of their performance, but they bristle when they feel their personhood is under attack.
Leaders effectively deliver constructive criticism when they have taken the time to acquaint themselves with those they lead. Without relational connection, the person receiving criticism may feel their leader has a personal vendetta against them. However, if they are convinced their leader respects their efforts and values their growth, they are more likely to be receptive to tough words.
WHEN RECEIVING CRITICISM
Selectively filter criticism
The higher up a person goes in leadership, the more criticism he or she will receive—guaranteed. While some criticism builds up, other criticism tears down. Leaders must learn to distinguish between the two.
The acid test of criticism is made up of three questions:
1. Does the criticism have basis in fact?
2. Is the criticism offered constructively (in an effort to help)?
3. Does the critic have the insight and perspective to speak credibly?
When all three questions can be answered, "yes," then a leader should take the criticism seriously and weigh its meaning. If any question can be answered, "no," then a leader is best served to let the criticism go in one ear and out the other.
Avoid Extremes
A leader who routinely dismisses criticism chokes off vital feedback. When leaders ignore or suppress opposing views, they miss the opportunity to sharpen their ideas. Wise leaders want to be challenged, not coddled. They surround themselves with voices that speak what they need to hear instead of saying only what they want to hear.
On the other extreme, leaders with thin skin are rattled by all manner of criticism. They agonize over the opinions of people whose input is uninformed and unintended to be helpful. They allow second-guessing to cut into their confidence. Ultimately, such a leaders cede authority by subjecting their decision-making to the approval of outsiders.
Listen, Listen, Listen
Sincere criticism rarely comes without a morsel of truth. For a leader, the trick is to stay open when confronted with negative feedback. When criticized, people are tempted to react defensively, angrily, or from a place of hurt. With emotions swirling about inside, it can be difficult to keep listening and to absorb critical comments.
Those who gain the most out of criticism hold their tongue and control their emotions in order to gain access to hard truths. By listening and remaining objective, they grow increasingly self-aware and improve their leadership.
For more advice on addressing criticism, you can read Dr. Bruce Weinstein's BusinessWeek article, "How to Give and Receive Criticism."
7:03 pm
Thoughts never begin fully formed.Have you ever looked through a microscope? At first glance, the image appears blurry and indistinct. However, after adjusting the lens, the image comes into focus, and you can see with remarkable clarity.
When thoughts enter my mind, they are hazy and disordered, much like the initial image seen through a microscope. I have to fine-tune my thoughts by dwelling upon them, and connecting them to other thoughts I've had. It takes awhile for me to wrestle with a thought before its merit becomes clear.
Thoughts take time to develop their potential.
I am not a naturally brilliant thinker. My mind doesn't overflow with out-of-the-box creativity. However, I do leverage experiences to stretch my thoughts. I have found that reflection turns my experience into insight. At the close of each day, I'll review important lessons I've learned. I'll mine failure until I've gained a nugget of wisdom, or I'll consider how the day's events validated or invalidated one of my ideas. Through time, evaluating my experiences helps my thoughts to expand and mature.
Thoughts take others to develop their potential.
Alone, my thoughts are shallow and unexceptional. However, I am able to polish and refine them through my interactions with other leaders. I enhance my own thinking by piggybacking on the wisdom of friend and colleagues. In conversations or observations of their behavior, I strengthen and confirm my own inklings about leadership and life.
Each of us is trapped inside our own perspective and limited by blind spots and prejudices. If we isolate ourselves, we diminish our minds, and our thoughts atrophy.
We are wise to seek out others to test our assumptions and sharpen our thinking.
Thoughts are very fragile in the beginning.
Gardeners know the delicate nature of a newly planted seedling. To survive, the plant must receive nourishment and be protected from harsh winds, weeds, or hungry animas. Until its roots take hold and its stem grows, the seedling is vulnerable.
Likewise, our thoughts are fragile at first. They are endangered by pessimism, busyness, insecurity, forgetfulness, and a host of other threats. In the words of Bob Biehl, "Ideas are like soap bubbles floating in the air close to jagged rocks on a windy day."
In order to grow, our thoughts need careful attention and cultivation.
THOUGHT BUSTERS
Thoughts only reach their potential in a healthy environment. During my time as a leader, I've encountered the following environmental hazards, or thought busters, which threaten to destroy good thinking.
Criticism
When leaders pay any cost to ward off criticism, they sacrifice their best thoughts. In the words of Elbert Hubbard, "If you have something others don't have, know something others don't know, or do something others aren't doing, then, rest assured, you will be criticized." In my opinion, thinking requires boldness, the courage to be second-guessed, and readiness to endure conflict.
Lack of personal commitment to thinking
Taking action is by no means a negative quality in a leader. However, when a leader is all action, it's only a matter of time until he or she falls behind, steers off course, and surrenders the reins of leadership. I like Gordon MacDonald's appeal to mental fitness:
"In our pressurized society, people who are out of shape mentally usually fall victim to ideas and systems that are destructive to the human spirit and to the human relationship. They are victimized because they have not taught themselves how to think, nor have they set themselves to the lifelong pursuit of growth of the mind. Not having the faculty of a strong mind, they grow dependent upon the thoughts and opinions of others."
As leaders, thinking keeps us in front. Before we shape the future, we must get our minds in shape.
Excuses
"I don't have enough time," has been my most common excuse to avoid thinking. However, blaming time constraints is not a legitimate excuse. After all, a great idea is one of the greatest commodities a person can own. Besides, by taking the time to think, we invent smarter ways to expend our energy and resources.
"I'm not creative," has been another excuse of mine. Of course, blaming my lack of creativity is actually a sorry excuse for being lazy. Thinking well isn't easy. It takes concentration, focus, and, most challenging of all, the discipline to stop moving for a few moments.
11:54 am
Your life is the product of your own construction.Today's excellence is tommorrow;s mediocrity. Whatever you do something, is a building block for what you are going to become.
1. Law of pursuit
- You will only possess what you consistently pursue.
Phil 3:13-14
Prov 8:17-19
Matt 7:7-8
You got to be passionate with what you are pursuing.
2Cor 4:16
2. Law of Serving
-A servant is never defined by his willingness to serve but by the execution of his service.
Luke19:1-23
Matt23:11
Luke 22:26
Luke 16:11-12
3. Law of Character
-Whatever you compromise to keep you will certainly lose.
Gen 3:1-6, 23-24
2 Sam 11:1-4, 12:7-14
Jug 16:15-19, 28-30
4. Law of Attitudes
-The attitude of the servant determines the atmosphere of the place
Est 1:10-12, 2:13-17
Col 3:22-24
5. Law of Association
-Every relationship you have is either drawing you closer to or further away from God's will for your life
Prov 13:20
Ps1:1
1Cor 15:33
3 types of people in your life
a) Compromisers: Always trying to get you to compromise your standards.
"It's ok you don't have to be so stiff and rigid"
Isa 59:19
b) Companions: Those that are neither good nor bad for your future. It's nearly impossible to tell their effect.
c) Committed: Those who are undoubtedly committed to your success.
Every relationship is magnetic. Choose the relationship that has chosen you.
6) Law of problem solving
- Your value in life is directly linked to the problems you joyfully solve for others
eg. Joseph, David, Esther, Jesus, Timonthy
Phil 2:19-20
7) Law of the seed
Everything in your future is created by something in your present.
Gal6:7
2Cor 9:6
Prov 11:24-25
Gen 8:22
Everything that you'll become, God has given to you in seed form.
Deception finds its life in what people don't tell you.
A half truth is a whole lie.
Gen 8:22
Rom 1:21
11:48 am
A skinny young boy loved football with all his heart. Practice after practice, he eagerly gave everything he had. But being half the size of the other boys, he got absolutely nowhere. At all the games, this hopeful athlete sat on the bench and hardly ever played.This teenager lived alone with his father, and the two of them had a very special relationship. Even though the son was always on the bench, his father was always in the stands cheering. He never missed a game. This young man was still the smallest of the class when he entered high school. But his father continued to encourage him but also made it very clear that he did not have to play football if he didn't want to.
But the young man loved football and decided to hang in there He was determined to try his best at every practice, and perhaps he'd get to play when he became a senior. All through high school he never missed a practice nor a game but remained a bench-warmer all four years. His faithful father was always in the stands, always with words of encouragement for him. When the young man went to college, he decided to try out for the football team as a "walk-on." Everyone was sure he could never make the cut, but he did.
The coach admitted that he kept him on the roster because he always puts his heart and soul to every practice, and at the same time, provided the other members with the spirit and hustle they badly needed.
The news that he had survived the cut thrilled him so much that he rushed to the nearest phone and called his father. His father shared his excitement and was sent season tickets for all the college games. This persistent young athlete never missed practice during his four years at college, but he never got to play in a game.
It was the end of his senior football season, and as he trotted onto the practice field shortly before the big playoff game, the coach met him with a telegram. The young man read the telegram and he became deathly silent. Swallowing hard, he mumbled to the coach, "My father died this morning. Is it all right if I miss practice today?" The coach put his arm gently around his shoulder and said, "Take the rest of the week off, son. And don't even plan to come back to the game on Saturday."
Saturday arrived, and the game was not going well. In the third quarter, when the team was ten points behind, a silent young man quietly slipped into the empty locker room and put on his football gear. As he ran onto the sidelines, the coach and his players were astounded to see their faithful teammate back so soon. "Coach, please let me play. I've just got to play today," said the young man.
The coach pretended not to hear him. There was no way he wanted his worst player in this close playoff game. But the young man persisted, and finally feeling sorry for the kid, the coach gave in. "All right," he said. "You can go in." Before long, the coach, the players and everyone in the stands could not believe their eyes. This little unknown, who had never played before was doing everything right. The opposing team could not stop him. He ran, he passed, blocked, and tackled like a star. His team began to triumph. The score was soon tied.
In the closing seconds of the game, this kid intercepted a pass and ran all the way for the winning touchdown. The fans broke loose. His teammates hoisted him onto their shoulders. Such cheering you never heard.
Finally, after the stands had emptied and the team had showered and left the locker room, the coach noticed that this young man was sitting quietly in the corner all alone The coach came to him and said, "Kid, I can't believe it. You were fantastic! Tell me what got into you? How did you do it?"
He looked at the coach, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Well, you knew my dad died, but did you know that my dad was blind?" The young man swallowed hard and forced a smile, "Dad came to all my games, but today was the first time he could see me play, and I wanted to show him I could do it!"
Y Sunday, June 08, 2008Y
8:17 pm
Went to Pastor Che Ahn's svc today, the presence of God was so strong, signs and wonders were many and many ppl were healed. The most memorable and funny one was the guy who said that his wrist has been healed, den can move abt like the Japanese boy dancers that were previously performing b4 the word was preached. HAHAHA! =) I tink the most wonderful part was when he stayed back aft svc to lay hands on the cell group, connect group and ministry leaders. Den after that, I went to Raffles City Shopping Centre, bought a black shirt from River Island for $40(u.p $95), can't wait to wear it to church next wk. Actually, I was deciding between the shirt and another white plain t-shirt with tie going for $25. In the end, I decided the black one suits me more. Before that, at Attributes, I was deciding whether to buy the $40 financial increase book or the $35 Art of Distinction book, both by Robb Thompson. But in the end, I didn't buy, cos first I tot I wanted to save money, and secondly, I got so many Christian books at home liao, haven read finish yet.
Dunno why I was so willing to spend that same amount of money on clothes than on either of the books. It is like asking me to sing in k-box for abt 5 hrs(with many breaks in between of course), I tink I can do it, but if u ask me to pray for 1 hour, I dun tink I have the tenacity and discipline to pray through. I tink it can only be attributed to one word, PASSION! My passion for singing and clothes far exceeds my passion for prayer and reading books. I tink I really nid to change my attitude towards prayer and reading on God's word or other Christian books. Nid to be more positive towards both these things! Nid to be more SPIRITUAL! That's my new GOAL for 2008! =)